Potentialmatic – Fulfill your Potential!

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People Have Questions About the Potentialmatic...

Questions like, is the Potentialmatic right for me? And what is it exactly? We say that the answer is - YES!

Our researchers have discovered that often, people need help judging the potential of certain critical situations. It’s happened to all of us. ‘Should I ask that girl over there to take scuba lessons with me?’ ‘Should I become a stunt person?’ And especially ‘Should I get a marmot for a pet?’ These are all difficult questions. But imagine if you had a life-coach, in the form of a handy beeping device, that could give you... the answers you so desperately crave?

This ‘answer-gap’ led our engineers to create the Potentialmatic, to make discovering potential outcomes as easy as the touch of a button. How can we do this? First of all, let’s reassure you that Potentialmatic is not a cream, and it’s not magical in any way. Rather, it’s a highly technical device created somewhere in the Pacific Rim that can guide you – when used properly – to... your full potential!

How does the Potentialmatic work? First, some history. In one of the most fortunate events of modern times, researchers accidentally discovered the Potentialmatic in the 1950s. Unfortunately, the early prototype took up the space of an entire room, because that’s how computers were back then, with vacuum tubes and stuff. As a result, the project was shelved in its infancy.

In the 1970s, a group of young, bearded computer scientists heard of the myth of the Potentialmatic. Driven by a steady diet of easy-listening music and cream soda, these pioneers employed transistors, 8-track tape technology, and some of those big square batteries from the hardware store, these visionaries were able to back-engineer the Potentialmatic - this time in a form about the size of a modest microwave oven.

Subsequent refinements led to the handy, less cumbersome Potentialmatic that we can now proudly offer you - but only if you test drive a '09 Toyota Matrix. So please, Discover the Potentialmatic. Learn the Potentialmatic. Live the Potentialmatic.

We'd like to remind you that none of the above history is actually verifiable. In fact it may have been completely made up in the interest of comedy. All that's really important is that the Potentialmatic is real. And the potential effect it could have on your life is real. Really, it is.

• Rory Kelly user since 2008

  

  “All my life, I felt like I wasn’t getting enough exposure. But then I realized that maybe it was because I was always turned around and facing the other way. Like when people talked to me. Or when I was having school pictures taken. Even that time when I proposed to that girl. So I started asking questions - should turn around and face things, instead of showing my back all the time. I was skeptical, so I consulted the Potentialmatic. It said the potential for this approach to radically remake my existence was ‘Magilicious’! Can you believe that?” ~ Rory Kelly

• Wells Davis user since 2008

  

  “Imagine always seeing the world from a horizontal split screen perspective. That was my life. “Captain McSquinty”, they would taunt. Two months ago, I was at the basketball game when the match was won on a buzzer beating shot. My pal, Dominic exclaimed, “wow, did you see that shot, Peter?” In typical fashion, my answer was “yes, but just the bottom half”. Enter Potentialmatic. Since my fabulent reading, the entire world has opened up to me like a clamshell bearing millions of gorgeous pearls. So here’s a pearl of truth, get the Potentialmatic today and see what you’ve been missing, whether it’s the crescendo of a basketball arc, or the birthing of a baby ewe on a farm somewhere in a Nebraska township. It needs to be seen (fully), to be believed.”
  ~ Wells Davis

• Sumit Ajwani user since 2008

  

  “What do sunstroke, bird-droppings, and bald spots have in common? They’re all things that disappear when you wear a hat. It’s a pretty simple premise, wear a hat and the sun will shine, with you in the shade of course. For a good three straight years, my life was a veritable vicious cycle of hat-less related issues; until wicktacular that is. When Potentialmatic landed on wicktacular I realized that no matter what the occasion, dome coverings are the way to go. Wedding? Go with a bowler. Ballroom dance, it’s a 2 gallon top hat. Ball game? Well that calls for a baseball hat. Do I have a hat for everyday of the year? No. Will I? Potentially.” ~ Sumit Ajwani

• Albert Fabris user since 2008

  

  “I can remember being distant. People even said to me… ‘Dude, why are you always so far away from things?’ So, I asked the Potentialmatic, what would the potential be if I got, you know, up closer to stuff. It told me that the potential was ‘Fabulent.’ That moment changed my life. Now, I’m not afraid to get up close to things. Like mirrors. And pets. And strangers in the line at the Quicky-mart. If I could sum the power of the Potentialmatic in two words, it would be ‘transnational.’ Without test driving the '09 Toyota Matrix and getting a Potentialmatic of your own, you'll never quite understand my bliss.” ~ Albert Fabris

• Michelle Swan user since 2008

  

  “I had never considered red as my background colour. In fact, it sort of scared me even committing to a background colour. Especially red, the colour of santa, flags waved in front of bulls, and the planet Mercury. But I always had a nagging feeling that red could be right for me. After test-driving the '09 Toyota Matrix, I was given this device called The Potentialmatic. It affirmed that the potential of bringing red into my life was ‘Wondergreat.’ Which is even the word next to the red thing on the Potentialmatic! It’s like the universe is talking to me.” ~ Michelle Swan

•  

Magilicious!

Think leprechauns, think marshmallows — when it’s both magic and delicious, you’re thinking magilicious. Typically used as an adjective, magilicious conjures thoughts of magical events, be they on the stage, at the end of a rainbow, or simply in your mouth. Other proper usage of magilicious might be if, say, a magician were to lay a batch of magical eggs and you were to take these and make an omelet - there’s no doubt that this bastion of goodness would be defined as magilicious.

Ridonculous!

What’s that? Feel as though your funny bone is being tickled? This, in fact, is an entirely common reaction to seeing or hearing the word, ridonculous. Evidently, when the genetic makeup of the word ridiculous is altered, good things happen. Legend has it, that prior to discovering the theory of relativity, Einstein formulated the uber-word ridonculous, also known as, r=cg². For those not familiar with quantum physics, that means Ridonculous equals Comedy Gold. Squared.

Wondergreat!

When great just doesn’t cut it. Often confused with the Austro-Hungarian term, wunderkind, meaning gifted child, or a delicious peanut-and-nougat-filled chocolate bar, the term wondergreat is more or less self-explanatory. Typically, wondergreat can be seen basking in the proud glow of its parents, wonderful and great. If searched in the dictionary, the definition of wondergreat is without fail, a picture of lollipops and warm banana bread. And power napping.

Wicktacular!

Derived from the New England area term, wicked-awesome, wicktacular is 3 levels better than wicked-awesome. For instance, if your favourite local area baseball team were to hit a home run, wicked-awesome would be the appropriate adjective. However, if that home-run ball were to somehow land in your steaming bowl of clam chowder, undeniably, wicktacular would elbow its way to the tip of your tongue. This is a fact, so your skepticism is unwarranted.

Fabulent!

The hybrid of fabulous and excellent, Fabulent, is – for all intents and purposes – a more economical way of saying both these words. Only at one time. Rumour has it that Dickens’ epic novel, Great Expectations, was once simply and originally entitled, Fabulent Expectations. He was ahead of his time; his editor, however, was not.

Gladtastic!

Contrary to popular belief, gladtastic has nothing to do with fantastic garbage bags (though we do appreciate a high quality trash receptacle). Gladtastic is what happens when you take the word Glad and Fantastic and meld them together. Once you make gladtastic part of your everyday vernacular, you’ll notice your life actually changing. Go ahead, say it. Did you feel that? That was your life actually changing for the gladtastic better.

Discover Your
Full Potential With...

• The Potentialmatic

  

  The Potentialmatic is the device that you need to determine the full potential of any situation! Just book your test drive of an all-new '09 Toyota Matrix, and it's yours - free!

• The Potentialmatic
  Desktop Widget

  

  Computers are important! And now, you can make your desktop or laptop even more powerful with the Potentialmatic desktop widget. Download it now: Mac | Vista | Google Desktop

  The Potentialmatic
  Mobile Widget

  You can also bring the power of the Potentialmatic to your mobile phone! Amaze your friends and dazzle family members when you tell them you have a cell phone AND a Potentialmatic... and they're the same thing! Text Matrix to 12345*

  *Standard Carrier Messaging Fees Will Apply.
  Under 16 must seek permission from bill payer or have parental approval.